If I Were A Girl

As a Man, here are 43 things I would not do in my relationship, if I were a girl...

(1) Unnecessarily delay saying 'yes' when I feel the same about him.

(2) Try-out dating. Why smell what I won't eat?

(3) Be too demanding. Consideration is such a vital key.

(4) Love him for "what he is". It'd rather be for "who he is".

(5) Show-off to him or show-him-off to people.

(6) Keep close contacts and links with my ex(s). This may not be an issue when there is trust, but I personally don't think it's healthy for a relationship.

(7) Hesitate to watchfully and prayerfully choose my friends. Even the few I choose shouldn't know too much about what I share with him. Evil Communication corrupts good manner.

(8) Place my friends' advice/opinion above his, shun his own and listen to theirs.

(9) Say "I love him" when I don't.

(10) Refuse to say it when I really do.

(11) Struggle to be like him. A Real Man values his woman best for ways she's different.

(12) Question his authority/right to take the lead. My only duty is to follow. 'Cause it takes as much strength to follow, as it takes to lead. That in any way does not imply that I cannot register my opinion; it only means I cannot enforce it.

(13) Compete with him rather than complete him.

(14) Challenge his manhood. Since it is so actively done everywhere else, my arms should be a home of solace where he comes to find peace of mind that is usually not readily available to him out there.

(15) Discuss his weaknesses with my friends and family. That would amount to selling his honour and respect. NOBODY will respect my man beyond the one I give him in their presence.

(16) Spend time trying to understand men; I only need to understand my man.

(17) Refuse to "hold his hand" in public (A figurative expression that simply implies that I am proud of him anywhere, anytime). I don't care who's watching, he's all mine and I'm all his.

(18) Make "my wooers" an important topic to discuss with him.

(19) Make "sex denial" the way to get back at him because he has hurt me so bad.

(20) Take an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Folly pays back with the same coin.

(21) Compare him with any other man, not to his face and not behind his back.

(22) Consciously misbehave to prove my worth to him. In quietness lies a woman's strength. If he is the right man for me, he won't take my submission for granted.

(23) Consider "break-up" an option when we disagree. Good Men are scarce, so if I have found one, I should disagree to agree with him.

(24) Think he is weak because he is in love with/obsessed about me. Experience has thought me that there is only one short step between love and hate, as there is between life and death.

(25) Make just one day our "valentine". Everyday of the relationship should be.

(26) Keep secrets. True love is naked and not ashamed.

(27) Ask "what is wrong with him" more often than "what is wrong with me".

(28) Make decisions that only gratify me. I have to satisfy him too. Nothing kills a good man faster than loving a self-centred woman.

(29) Sacrifice being loved for being right.

(30) Let my attitude and entire personality project an "I will find a bigger and better guy by tomorrow if you leave me today" message.

(31) Make very little space for him in my life. Place him so low on my list of priorities that his interest wanes.

(32) Be too busy to make him a home-cooked meal; the hands that feed a Man sticks to his heart.

(33) Refuse to be a listening ear for his concern because I am so occupied with my own.

(34) Be so good to other people at his expense. What will it profit a woman who gains the world and loses her man?

(35) Abandon home for too long in the pursuit of too many high goals, especially when the kids are still very young. If my man is always out there working and he effectively carries out his duty of providing all the family needs, I think he needs me more to help him build his children and the home.

(36) Fight him in public or on the home front. He needs a lover not a fighter.

(37) Doubt his words? Never! There is no love without trust.

(38) Be comfortable with late-night, Pinot Grigio-fuelled calls and text messages from any other guy. Trust is not automatic, it is worked for, earned, proven; and it grows with time and situations.

(39) Be ALL OVER HIM while he is so busy at work or anywhere else... that he can barely breathe or think straight. An interfering wife can sometimes be too irritating.

(40) Nag over every little thing. If you want to get your own way ask him nicely. Nagging can create unwanted rift or can make things worse between the two of you.

(41) Stick with the guy who takes me for granted. If I have worked well to earn Respect and I don't get it, then he doesn't deserve me.

(42) Lean on my own understanding when he's no more the guy I used to know. There's a God up there who vindicates. Wisdom, alone, is profitable to direct.

(43) Read this piece and say "hey, Olaotan, you can never understand what or how it feels to be a girl 'cause you are not and can never be one". Well, I totally admit. But at least, I know what they do and don't do that I am not and can never be pleased with. And on that note, I can come up with a few of them, hoping that somebody will read it and change her ways.