Relationships are delicate things that need constant maintenance and continuous work to keep them alive and well, and most importantly passionate. Unfortunately, break ups happen to all of us and they can wreak havoc on our lives. Being that you're under all this stress you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex, which, hey, is understandable. Really. I mean we're all human, and we all think emotionally. But take a second and think about it for a while. Let your mind clear. Is it really the best step to take? But try this different approach that I've outlined, as it can put your ex in a unique position, and in all likely hood will could end up repairing your relationship by showing your ex how important you really are and were to them. And isn't that the really the best way to get back at your ex, showing them that they truly miss you? But then you must forgive each other for it to go back to a passionate, loving relationship. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex, but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.
1. Be Strong. Neediness is the number one turn off among relationships (that means dependency, too) and will drive away your ex faster than a diving peregrine falcon! You need to eradicate all needy behavior -- incessantly calling your ex, begging them to come back, clinging -- as all it tells the other person is "I'm desperate!" By being strong you show them that you are not codependent and can do just fine on your own. This is extremely attractive and is the basis of all healthy relationships. Your ex will notice that you are a self-sufficient and realize that they miss you in their life.
2. Reduce Contact. No I am not crazy and yes, I know this sounds crazy when all you can do is think about the other person, but many times the smartest strategy regarding relationships and getting your ex back is going to be counterintuitive. Listen, the mere fact that you are looking for ways to "get back at your ex" shows what kind of state of mind you are in so it's safe to assume that your ex is probably in a similar spot, therefore it would be wise to give it time so that both of you can blow off some steam and cool down, making it much easier to rekindle things when you do contact each other again.
3. Be Flexible. Don't set ultimatums and don't be abrasive with them. This will only put them off even more and will worsen the entire situation. If you show them a sympathetic side and demonstrate that you are receptive of what they have to say (i.e. be a good listener) your ex will wonder who this calm and composed person is, which in turn may motivate them rebuild the communication that was lacking previously.
4. Socialize! Secluding yourself from the rest of the world will only make you feel even worse, will send you into a crazed state, and pretty soon you'll be speaking in tongues to yourself in front of the mirror...hey, love can do that; don't let it happen to you. Instead of isolating yourself, get out of the house! Call up some friends and have some fun. If your friends are true, they'll be there to support you. Now you don't necessarily need to start dating again (either way is fine), but as long as you get out of the house and out of your head you will definitely start feeling better. Not only that but you're ex will realize what a gem they just lost.
5. Be Yourself. I know, I know, everyone says that. But the truth is there's a real reason why you and your ex were together in the first place and it has to do with the fact that both of you could "be yourself" around each other. Authenticity key here. If you stop guessing what the other person wants you to be like and start being true to yourself, this will be noticed and you ex may realize the wonderful relationship you both had before when each of you were being genuine.
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