It's pretty tough these days to maintain a good relationship. Couples have to actually work to keep the other party happy and interested. What happens though when everything goes wrong? Wondering how to get your ex back won't do you any good unless you know the reason for the breakup.
Were you blindsided by your boyfriend when he said those dreaded words "It's just not working anymore"? The truth is, that isn't a reason and by saying it, he is just skirting around the real issues. Unless he has cheated on you, there is really no reason why you can't repair the relationship.
All couples go through the "Honeymoon Stage" of a relationship. That's from the point of meeting to actually becoming a couple and being crazy about each other. How long does that stage last? It really is a short period lasting about 6 months to a year. After that, the newness and the mystery have worn off. You see each other probably too much and you might even live together. You start to resent certain things about each other. He might have more friends than you, and still wants to hang out with them often. You might earn more than he does and want to spend money on items he thinks is foolish. Maybe you don't have activities you enjoy in common. It's possible that some of the things you used to do, which he thought was cute, now irritate him.
Everyone is an individual with their own personality and quirks. Do you want your man to be a clone of yourself or vice versa? Because couples aren't the same as each other, they just stop getting along.
In the early days of your relationship you probably didn't want to be with anyone but him, and he felt the same way. Now because the newness has worn off, neither of you care that much to spend time together anymore. Even if you co-habituate, you aren't really spending time together. You aren't communicating much anymore either. That will drive you farther apart, or it already has.
It is true that people want the thing they don't have. When you and your boyfriend were together you took each other for granted. Now that you have separated, you both are thinking about the other one more. It might feel good for a while to be on your own, and do what you want, but within a few weeks you really will start to miss each other.
This might be the best time to create value in his eyes. When he is missing you is the time that he thinks you'll just jump at the chance to see him. In your own mind you really do want to see him. Hold off though. It will be in your best interest to not seem so anxious.
By making him work for your attention and companionship, it creates value in his eyes. It's strange how this works but men do want to be the pursuer. Having this challenge is telling him that you aren't a pushover and you just might have something better going on.
By ignoring him for a while, he is going to want you more. Don't be rude, just don't be available.
By having him work to get back in your favor, will truly make him think that you are valuable and quite a catch again!
Learning how to get your ex back the right way is half the battle. It can be done by you creating value in his eyes!
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