There is an abundance of information all over the internet about no contact and you have probably heard about it since your breakup. Often there is a great deal of reluctance to implement this strategy in spite of its importance. Tension and even anger soon follows a breakup making it all the more imperative to apply the no contact rule. Conversely, it's not easy to shut yourself off from the person that you love. How can you apply such a strategy when facing such an emotional rollercoaster and the desperation you have to get your ex back?
Rationalizing why no contact is not for you can be a normal reaction to the idea of suddenly cutting all communication with the person you love or why it's not as important as people say. Let's consider why no contact is important and if it is really applicable to your situation.
The no contact rule is founded on the idea that "absence makes the heart grow fonder." A void is created in the life of your ex when you leave and even if it isn't apparent they face challenges of their own from the breakup. The effectiveness of using this void to your advantage through no contact is apparent when considering the idea the rule was founded upon. Providing your ex the space they need in the beginning sets up the successful strategy for getting them back. Now if you are rejected at a job interview crying and begging for their reconsideration will get you no sympathy and a loss of respect. Similar results proceed from the breakup with your ex even though they might be more sympathetic.
The wide range of circumstances can vary the timing for going into no contact. Depending on why the relationship ended it can be negative to go into no contact right away. At times using your common sense is a must to decide what to do for your situation. Your ex may have left you for several reasons which might include a need for any of the following:
• Appreciation
• Affection
• Desire
• Passion
• Acknowledgement
• Excitement
• Newness
• Respect
• willingness to share and contribute
• growth and expansion
Accept the reason that they left you and at times you might not know the real reason for the breakup. When you still love your ex and want to get them back it is not recommended to go into no contact right away. Most individuals that are reading this have tried to convince their ex to take them back which is for the most part the natural thing to do. Prior to starting no contact you need to get your emotions under control and call your ex. If the result of the call is your ex refusing to talk to you than without question stop calling. Wait a few days and try calling again refusing to go on a text messaging spree during the interim. The person that has already attempted at the previous steps should start no contact now.
Individuals frequently beat themselves up if they do not completely abide by no contact and talk with their ex during the no contact period. These individuals feel as if they have sabotaged the entire process and their efforts. By setting a collection of rules for yourself that are unrealistic (i.e. if you work with your ex or have children between you) it sets yourself up for failure in the beginning. Allow flexibility in the process while keeping in mind the primary purpose of no contact.
The key rules to abide by with no contact are as follows:
• Avoid any attempts at creating a reaction out of your ex.
• Avoid conversations that might lead to a "friendly" relationship with your ex.
• Avoid calling your ex unless it pertains to an emergency.
Living by the premise that your ex is similar to a distant acquaintance that you have neutral feelings for is a good rule. Barely knowing someone would not encourage you to go out of your way to talk to them and you should act the same way with your ex in no contact.
Typically you will use no contact until your ex hints at wanting you back or you don't want them back anymore. Now if you do make a mistake during these processes do not panic. Chances are that you will make a mistake so learn from it and move into no contact again. Your ex will now contact you and suggest that you get together. Have some fun going out with your ex and in the back of your mind wonder where the date is leading. If there doesn't appear to be an attempt to get back together than be honest with your ex and move into no contact again. Realize that this process does get easier and as you see signs of change towards rebuilding the relationship it will all be worth the effort.
This news article is brought to you by BUSINESS AND TRAVEL - where latest news are our top priority.
No comments:
Post a Comment